I was so grateful to a dear friend the other day who offered me an opportunity to try to put things right between us. I had been at fault and I made the opening moves, but she was gracious enough to accept them, conditionally.

When you are working in such an intense field as birth, it is so important to have friends around who understand what you are talking about when you need to discuss how you feel about a birth, or a woman you are working with.

One of the doulas I work with summed it up the other day: she had been present for a family who had a difficult and potentially traumatizing experience. Everything was fine in the end, but during the stress of difficult events, one of the family members took her anxiety out on the doula, who chose to receive it in silence and then process it elsewhere.

She did that successfully, but during the few days we spent talking about it, she told me how strange it was - she had gone out with friends, been with her family, lead her life normally amongst people, but she did not feel that she could discuss what was really bothering her until she spoke to another doula.

Community is so important. Please, reach out to someone you have experienced a break or a rift, or perhaps you have unjustly dealt with in the past. I promise you, we will all be better off for it, and the community itself as a living, breathing entity, will be healthier.


  1. Doula community is essential. It is truly a sacred sisterhood. Nobody understands like another doula the type of presence we hold for a couple and their baby, especially when things are hard. We need other doulas to help us process so we can gather energy for the next birth, and be, as you so beautifully put it, "clean as a newborn baby". Here's to clean.

  2. Yes, to clean. L'chaim! To life!

    A strong and healthy community helps each one of us to grow to our full potential - doulas, mothers, fathers, and children.


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