Day Four Alphabet Gratitude

Today was a hard day to be grateful. I struggled with making sense of the fact that I have created a life where I cannot do what I am best at - midwifery. So, I have a kickass cafe, where parents and their children (and everyone else!) feel welcome and comfortable and eat the best food in town. And I teach. But it hurts when I am in a birthing room and I can't do my thing.

Today I am grateful for Dogs. This may sound too corny but let me explain: I have three scary stories to tell about dogs.
One: I was sitting pretty in my mother's womb, all excited about being born, with my head nicely flexed and pointing towards the ground, when suddenly my mother made a movement in the air as she was speaking to her ultra racist colonial neighbor (think Uganda in the 1950's), and the dog he was holding jumped at my mother's arm and wouldn't let go. Dog was killed, I flipped breech and refused to turn, my mother had a horrific scar on her arm until the day she died.
Two: Fast forward 18 months. I am playing with Skippy, my grandma's dog. Grandma throws a ball and Skippy and I run for it. Skippy wants it badly, so he bites my head. I have a large scar on my head to this day, where no hair can grow.
Three: Fourteen years later, I am in Calgary, walking from the bus stop after attending a rock concert. The windows of perception had been thoroughly cleansed and I was enjoying my walk across the baseball field. The moon was full, the snow was deep with a thick layer of ice. Life was good. Suddenly four large dogs appeared and circled me. I was terrified. I stood still and slowly started to spin around. I glared at them and without making a sound I willed them to go away. They did.

Six months after my mother died, my son really really wanted a dog (not connected realities for him). We went to the SPCA and got a puppy. See above. She has cured me of fear. She's always happy to see me. She never complains. She is honest, kind, and always ready for fun. She brings me her disgusting rag when I'm feeling sad. She never lies. She feels bad when she does something wrong. She is uninhibited.

Now I'm a dog person and these are random canines (and human) who are also part of our extended family.


Popular Posts